#52 BMI in Surrogacy: What Most Intended Parents Don’t Know (But Should)

When you're searching for a surrogate, it’s easy to focus on personality, values, or past experience—but there’s one key factor many intended parents overlook: BMI.

In this episode, Dr. Alyssa Small Layne shares what BMI really means for surrogacy, why fertility clinics and agencies have strict BMI cutoffs, and how to approach the topic with compassion and clarity. This is the conversation Alyssa wishes she could have with every intended parent before they fall in love with a surrogate match that doesn’t meet medical screening.

🎧 If you’re unsure what “too high” or “too low” really means—or what the risks are to your surrogate, baby, and budget—this episode is your roadmap.

What You’ll Learn:

• 01:44 — The BMI red flag in a forum post that sparked this conversation

• 02:23 — Why a surrogate’s OB clearance doesn’t mean clinic approval

• 03:44 — The medical risks of high BMI for surrogate and baby

• 06:52 — How high BMI affects embryo transfer success and miscarriage risk

• 08:27 — Real-world costs of BMI-related complications

• 09:32 — What are the actual BMI cutoffs (and who sets them)?

• 11:14 — The “double standard” debate: IVF for self vs. IVF for surrogacy

• 13:20 — Why BMI is more than a number—and when to make exceptions

• 17:09 — OB clearance vs. final clinic approval

• 18:05 — Why independent surrogacy doesn’t mean cutting corners

• 21:40 — How to talk about BMI respectfully with your surrogate

• 23:26 — Ethical concerns when agencies push surrogates outside guidelines

• 25:26 — 5 steps to protect your journey and future baby
  

Resources Mentioned:

• Free Surrogacy Starter Kit

• ASRM guidelines: Recommendations for practices using gestational carriers: A committee opinion

• Surrogate vetting essentials

• BloomBridge Surrogacy App: https://gojunie.com/solutions/bloombridge

• Case management
  

“It's not about judgment—it’s about lowering risks and giving your baby the healthiest start possible.”